#i think she should get to be those things too bc i never thought i'd get here

[pumaskulls]

i remembered my super edgy self insert from my flipnotes days(prolly around 11-12 years old),,,,,

we no longer have the same name, gender, orientation....or really anything in common anymore. she isn't me anymore and hasn't been for a long time. but doodling her made me miss her a lot. maybe i'll spruce her up and give her a new story, let her be happy this time around.

we made it, kid

[katrotica]

Gianna Dior strikes me as one of those girls who is probably always on one of those lists of girls who are too beautiful for porn, which I totally get as a thing—the implication being that these girls could likely make a living selling their bodies in slightly different ways. Ways that wouldn't involve fucking strangers on camera. I think that's basically what's implied. She could just be selling fashion or perfume or bottled water or whatever, and I guess that's a more desirable occupation? Maybe she likes fucking strangers on camera and hates bottled water. Bet the guys making those lists never thought about that! Anyways, I get it, and I'm actually not really bagging on people making those kinds of lists bc if I pretended to never have had the thought she's too beautiful for porn I'd be lying. But I will admit that it's an inherently judgey thought to have and I should do better. For now I'm gonna simply by grateful that Gianna's choices have led to the availability of pictures like this because pictures like this make me happy.

[busket]

gravity falls rant, cw sexual assault and harassment

seeing the gf fandom do a full 180 on billford is so odd to see and kind of infuriating because I had so many nasty rumors and lies spread about me in 2015-2018 because I liked them as bitter exes. a callout google doc was made and I never read it, but I know it framed me as a creep and an abuser. all because I thought a cartoon nerd and a triangle had a fascinating dynamic that was dark and compelling

in 2017 or 2018 someone sent like 70 messages to my curiouscat just repeating RAPIST RAPIST RAPIST RAPIST over and over again. I'd never even had sex at that point, and I had just cut my dad out of my life for actually being a pedophile and a rapist. so that was traumatizing! that really hurt me!

I also know it was because I had a NSFW account where i drew porn (i was an adult, i was clear i only wanted adults following me. and I still do draw nsfw, I'm not ashamed of that now but these folks made me ashamed of it for years) that included some porn of trans men, like Stanley or Stanford as trans men (NEVER together bc I've always been staunchly against incest or pedophilia ships) and these people framed me as a transphobe and a transmasc fetishist

well obviously I'm a trans man now and I didn't know it at the time but those drawings were a way to explore my own relationship with gender. I even look like Stan and Ford now, obviously i latched on to them as trans men because I wanted to BE them. but I believed it when people called me a piece of shit, I assumed all trans people would despise me too and I'd committed a horrible sin and it forced me back in the closet for another 5 years.

the people doing this were teenagers at the time, a few I thought were my friends/mutuals, and they made that part of my life kinda miserable. I was already miserable with other shit going on in my life. I ignored most of the harassment to make myself uninteresting and to avoid the possibility of becoming a lolcow but it involved anonymous messages both on tumblr and curiouscat, I even got a few emails just mocking me. even in 2019 when some people were like "oh yeah she's moved on to moomin, this is what her art looks like now, I can't look at it without thinking about how much she loves rape :/" which was NEVER true!!! I liked Ford and Bill as bitter exes but it was always consensual in my mind.

Anyway I don't ever expect or even want an apology. I'm sure they don't realize what an effect that harassment had on me during literally the darkest years of my life. to them they were just teasing a weird girl on the internet for fun, or very seriously warning their friends against whom they'd been lied to about being an abuser, but I was a closeted trans man trying to finish college, my home life was abysmal and abusive, I hated myself, i hated my body, my only friends were online, and when I'd log on for some escapism I was met with another message like "hey, you should block this person. they're saying some really cruel things about you on their account. I know it's not true but it looks like some people are believing it."

gravity falls was so important to me as a show since oregon is my home and it felt so authentic to my own childhood being interested in cryptids and going camping and visiting shit like the Oregon vortex as a child. but the fandom was the worst I've ever been in. it ruined my enjoyment of media online for years. so idk. I guess I feel somewhat vindicated but it would also be nice to get those years back and not be harassed and bullied online about something so stupid and unimportant

[p0rk-guts]

waitt but what's different about your ocified velvette... i like her a little but find myself wanting more substance from her in canon tbh

TEEHEE WHAT A GOOD QUESTION I TOTALLY DIDN'T SET PPL UP TO ASK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay sew me and @ajistorpid were talking and they inspired a good chunk of my ideas so you can blame them for feeding my sick delusions.

Read more just like last time bc I talk too much sorry but there's art in there too oooo you should look u should read my ramblings

As far as I know, Velvette has no canon age at death, cause of death, or death date so based on what we know we just crafted our own headcanons. AJ proposed she might've had parents who ran one of those family vlog channels with her as the face of it, becoming a child influencer under her parents' control. I was thinking she could've been a child model- yk like. dance moms or something. Idk I don't remember what was happening on that show— anyways. Yea

Either way she grew up constantly controled and perfection was her standard. All of her outside thoughts and feelings and interests and opinions were constantly dismissed in favor of what made her more marketable. She never did get that popular in life tho, and her mentors always shamed and blamed her for it.

Idk if this is canon or not, but the idea of the sinners designs reflecting their vices or things they regreted or hated in life is an untapped gold mine to me so that could explain where Velvette's supposed doll and clown themes come from. Became a toy dressed up and paraded around for the entertainment of others + joke never taken seriously. She'd hate that

(As for how that ties into my redesign…. me and AJ were thinking she could be a vampire doll, but I'm not sure IDK I wanna sketch that out and see what it's giving)

In hell she easilly fell back into this warped facsimile of her old life bc it was all she knew. "she feels some form of pseudo control and enjoyment because she has no one pulling her strings now" (<-AJ) SHE'S running things!!! Who's the puppet now!!!!!!

Then THAT had me thinking too because now that I think about it. Why Is she the backbone of the V's?? She's like. An undergrad student in my mind at the MOST and Vox and Val are two men pushing 40 I'm sure. I think a big part of it is the fact that those two are almost complete and utter buffoons who let their emotions cloud their actions constantly, Valentino most obviously but even tho Vox seems more composed like when he's talking Val down from his outburst and when he was talking to the press, we can still see he's a total mess—especially where Alastor is concerned. He lost it so bad during their duet HE SHORTED PENTAGRAM CITY'S POWER.

Now out of all the V's we've seen the least of Velvette (I'd call it what it is but yall gon get real mad at me), The most we really got out of her character was the overlord meeting (and despite her huge ego and unruly behavior she did end up speaking facts), so maybe she Is just as unstable as them in canon but canon is SHIT and this isn't about canon anymore. In my mind she's very much in charge of the back end of their work. Vox is obviously the head of the operation—or at least he seems like it to me—what with the tech company having his name and with him answering the interviews, but I think that's all he is. The figure head. Velvette is the brain behind it all. When Vox proposes new buisness endeavors off the cuff she's the one who goes back and makes sure they're getting handled properly because he doesn't really dig into the backend of how things happen. Vox goes to most of the conferences or whatever (Vel's too busy running her shows and serving cunt after all) but Vel follows up on what was learned.

(also yeah all that makes this very much an au of an au bc it'd take a lot of radical changes for the two of them to be friends I think. It's fun to imagine anyway)

Quoting AJ here bc I'm bad at paraphrasing and they said it well:

"And if we're going to make her sympathetic, (obviously not excusing her enabling a rapist) Val and Vox are grown ass men and she never got to experience the world outside a camera

Velvette is easily malleable with no real relationships!! Some victims tend to gravitate towards people who are similar to their abusers the only exception is that she feels like she has control this time"

THIS this. THIS! Okay uhh vague personal experience w/ abuse cw ig. skip this paragraph if you don't wanna hear it. But It kinda reminds me of my relationship with my parents- NOT THAT I SEE THEM AS TWO DADS AND A DAUGHTER I DO NOT BELIEVE IN THAT NOTION IN A POST PILOT WORLD If future content proves me wrong it proves me wrong but at this moment they're all equals in my mind (…and I hc them as poly BUT WE'LL GET THERE) but In my situation it's like. I hate my parents for the abuse they've caused me, my mom more than my dad bc she's satan incarnate, but there are still things I like about my dad and. Tolerate. About my mother. We still can talk cordialy and spend time together, have fun together even, and I show affection to them, but deep down I know I wanna cut my mom off later and maybe my dad too depending. Additionally my mom is completely Incompatent and pulls none of her weight so despite it all I've been forced to pick up the slack and become half the brains of this family. I do chores she should take care of. Handle money. Make important decisions about our health and safety she doesn't care about.

AAAny ways. This is so my version of Velvette. No I'm not projecting (I am). She pulls a big chunk of the weight around there (some of it being carried by Vox and virtually none by Val). She's very close with the two of them but isn't a fan of everything they do (Cares more for Vox than Val in my mind). Speaking of, she definitely isn't some saint now, she still makes the love potions and is Impassive to both Val and Vox's behavior, but part of that Is her just seeing it as part of the business. Shady practices and exploitation are par for the course in any business to her. She never truly grew out of the harmful mindsets ingrained into her by whoever her enabling caretakers were in life and they're still apparent in hell. (Maybe she even experienced some of the darker sides of exploitation in life but was groomed into thinking it was okay contributing to why she doesn't see Valentino's actions as heinous. Idk. thinking on it)

Circling back to my poly V's idea. Idk it just seems plausible to me. Vox and Val already have their whole thing going on, they all live together, and they all have nicknames for each other (Vox calling her my dear, Val calling her baby doll, Vel calling Vox darling). Ik that could just be their personalities and the pet names don't have to mean anything more but this is MY au and my word is gospel hope this helps. It just makes sense

I could go on and ON about the toxic insanity of the Poly V's in my mind— particularly between Vox and Valentino— but this is NOT their post so maybe next time. As for Velvette, I get the vibe that she'd be intimate with both of them and enjoy it but she's never the one to initiate anything. Sometimes they're all like this 🤞🏾 and others the boys are a complete turn off to her (main example being the difference in her attitude towards Vox in episode 3 vs episode 8). Her tolerance of them flips on a dime depending on how they're acting. She also prefers to be a casually entertained observer to VoxVal more often then not (ex. end of episode 8 imo)

Boys aside. My Velvette is still a social media influencer and she's all about advertising. advertising products (like the love potion), clothing looks, technology... Heck even herself. "You're nobody if you don't wear this or use this or look like this ^ - ^". Projecting on her even further by making her have a love/hate relationship with her profession aka the modeling aspect of it: she's always had a genuine love for fashion and dressing up but the internal pressure for perfection she's placed on herself makes it hard for her. She's very hard on her models and designers bc of this

Couldn't think of a segway for this but also WHAT HAPPENED TO VELVETTE WANTING TO FIGHT THE ANGELS??? The "full assault plan" against the angels??? And then when the fight actually came they were all just lounging around watching it go down like it was afternoon tv????? This isn't even a "we'll get to it in season 2" thing did they honest to god forget? Did that line not mean anything??

Well I didn't forget and it's pissed me off since my first rewatch of that meeting scene. Don't think we don't know how the V's got the angel head, but In my head Velvette was the one who initially proposed the idea for an assault against heaven and her insatiable need to feel respected and feared only spurred this plan on, incredible risk be damned.

It also felt weird to me that Velvette just. Let it go when Carmilla said the meeting was over. Just. "Oh ok! Plan cancelled no more attacking heaven ^ - ^ I'm gonna go scroll for the rest of the show!" Hu h. My au-ified Velvette would definitely fight her on it— if she thought killing angels would change the game and Carmilla held the secrets behind it she would pry! Blow up at her about it until she wasn't getting results and bitterly storming off with as much composure as she could muster. Not wanting to team up with Carmilla but find some way to use her for all she was worth and get her way in the end, use the power and resources the V's had to actually make a plan. Would it have worked without the Morningstars? Eh. Either way I'm sure she could delude herself into thinking they were the most powerful people in hell. Ugh I don't wanna make an au rewrite of the show and I that was never my plan so idk where that'd go but. Yea

ANYWAYS anyways. wow you made it to the end somehow! Here's your treat :3

Context u didn't ask for: Some days Velvette overwhelms herself with her own impossible expectations. Nothing she creates or puts out is good enough. She gets extra anxious about her following; nothing's happened to them, but what if they see the miniscule flaw in her latest clothing that she sees? What if she's no longer perfect? (Even worse in the vamp Velvette redesign of her bc she literally feeds off their attention and admiration)

She'll snap at everyone and disapprove of every look and then hole herself away somewhere where she crashes and is just. So. Tired. But she'll be out of it the next day, ready to keep the conveyor rolling.

[angelofverdum]

Station 19 S07e10

19!

I'm overwhelmed by feelings. It's amazing how much fictional characters can make you feel.

My hope and wish for the end of these characters was for them to have a resolution and be happy.

Honestly, I can't complain. Maybe I should wait for the excitement to die to write anything about it.

But I love the ending for every character. I loved how they incorporated these "dreams" into the action scenes.

Andy as Chief is a great resolution for her. Jack being her true love was not something I was expecting. I feel it was something they pulled out at the last minute, and don't get me wrong I'm not opposed to it, Andy and Jack could have worked if they had more seasons and Grey wouldn't have left.

Ross. I'd hoped Natasha had something more in mind than marrying Bob but she is always being "My man My man My man" so it's fitting

Robert. One thing I loved about these flashforwards was that they were connected. Sully dreamed of that because in Ross's dream, they were already married, so he got to be with her.

Travis's most important relationship is with Vic. If I had Vic as a friend, I'd be like that too. Uprooting your life like that to move with your best friend is really brave.

Warren is probably my least favorite character but that's because he is boring but he is a good man. I was emotional watching his kids all grow.

Beckett is so unserious because why is he dreaming of Ross' sister.

Vic. She made me cried because she deserves everything that it's good in life. I'm so so so happy she didn't end up with Theo. She is helping people and living her best life. My beautiful queen.

Carina's dream is so important bc she had no one, her brother and mom died, and her father is trash. She was alone and then met this stubborn firefighter and said I want a big family with her, and that's what she did. Bring her back to Grey's you cowards.

Maya. My sweet beautiful, reckless, bisexual, hot, brave, selfless, stubborn, broken Maya. Her future was so bright without clouds. She falls asleep thinking about her wife and three kids. Maya who made me come back for season 2, and here I am seven seasons later, just a mess of emotion.

When I saw Carina enter that bar, it took me a whole ass minute to realize what they were trying to do. Why Carina was there. I'll never forget that excitement and I'll always be thankful for pairing them.

It's so weird to see that kind of representation. We didn't need coming out stories or the usual homophobia. Also, they were proud bisexuals and I'm always thankful that Maya said that with her whole chest. That was so important.

Now, my random thoughts about the episode.

I love the scene with the aluminum thing. That was cool and terrifying.

I loved it when Andy showed up. I was crying like she rescued me.

Danielle is so bad at screaming, her voice cracked up so much.

I loved Maya worried about Andy

I loved Carina suiting up finally. It was so funny.

I loved that we got to see adult Prue, and my god the legacy she is carrying.

I loved to see Andy as chief and Maya as captain.

I loved Carina doing what she preaches. Like Maya my god make yourself useful and give that woman an orgasm.

I'm not a fan of the Deluca-Bishop name tag because I just don't like hyphenating last names in general but I think it is cute they did that little detail for the fans who have really been asking for it.

Now for the last scene, keep in mind, that I've been crying the whole episode. Then this hit

I just laughed out loud. Omg, those are some terrible wigs. What was the point? What were they trying to achieve? To make them look older?

You should have put some gray hair and move it along. Like why they were having a bob off. Why would you do that to them?

Let me clean my eyes with Maya's real bob and the hottest she looked in the show.

Anyway, I'm always thankful when I get to experience a TV show so deeply. Even tho the cancellation is unfair. At least we got a proper ending.

I'm also glad that we got actors who cared deeply about their characters and respected them so much.

I'm a mess but 19 forever.

[mastersoftheair]

ok, so my own final (and very, very fresh) thoughts, bc i wanted to wait until i'd watched everything to make a sweeping opinion of the whole series, and it's quite opinionated. and long. probably too long. i write essays for fun (everyone point and laugh):

my personal (and very, very fresh) ranking of the hbo war shows (not including gen kill bc that's a different war, sorry) goes- band of brothers > masters of the air > the pacific (it's the same for my title score rankings. that hasn't changed yet)

my main points of contention with MotA are 1) the nine episodes, 2) the length of the episodes, and 3) certain editing choices. nine episodes, compared to the classic ten, isn't Nearly enough time to showcase all that they wanna showcase (especially when the episodes are as short as they are, once you get past the recap and "next on" parts). and they wanna showcase A Lot! there so much going on! i'd ask them to pace themselves, but they literally Can't!

i mean, the editing choices are a Whole Thing! practically gives me whiplash sometimes lol. i feel like the weaker episodes still have parts that are Really good, but like. Individually. they don't work together as a stronger whole, which is to the episode's detriment. rather than jumping around (as the show often did), they could've benefited a lot from focusing on the One Story instead of squeezing three more stories into there (i say that, but i think the 4-5-6 episode run (all with multiple stories per episode) did this very well while Still being very good episodes, so it's not like it Can't be done, it just didn't work for 7, 8 and (partly) 9). granted, i suspect a chunk of the weird editing can be blamed on, well, there being only nine (and not all that long) episodes and no one wanting to cough up enough money for a tenth. ugh! i'm blaming both hbo And appletv for this (and covid19 ig). it's just One More Episode, how much could it cost?? and on the subject of episodes, why no episode titles? you used to love episode titles! i could've brainstormed episode titles for them For Free!!

when it comes to the characters, the rankings remain the same: BoB > MotA > TP. it's not totally fair tho, since BoB followed the exact same (and large-ish) group of guys from beginning to end, so you're Gonna know who they all are and get attached. this wasn't the case (for me!) when watching TP, since, unlike BoB, they jump around from group to group. i never felt like i got to know them all that well, outside of the main characters. i think MotA almost hits that sweet spot, especially knowing they had those two main things going against it: large cast And jumping from group to group. there's a case to be made for bias here (i Was the blog blogging about everything MotA for like. years.), but i still think they found a good enough balance of fleshing out the main characters while Also helping the audience get to know about a bunch of minor characters, of which there are a shitton (and their personalities, motivations, backgrounds, quirks).

there's also the representation of women. actual angel renée lemaire is and will always be a cut above the rest (bastogne is just That Good, argue with the wall). she's written so well that it almost makes me forget about how a bunch of women are portrayed in carentan. i have...issues with how women are portrayed in TP (even tho i love lena), so there's that. MotA falls in the middle (again) bc there's Way more women on-screen, but the writing can be questionable. balanced (as all things should be?) captain l'sandra wing-westgate is a character of all time, but episode 7 birthed the craziest discourse known to man (the hbo war fandom), but it wasn't all that unwarranted. manon and michou were sooo cool, but we didn't see nearly enough of them (another victim of the 'editing too many stories into one episode' problem. why not a whole resistance episode? or at least as the only b-plot?). paulina was interesting, but fulfilled one of those 'attractive foreign woman gives sage advice during/after sex' tropes (there's probably a tvtropes page for that idk). so many red cross girls, but none of the in-depth payoff :/ epic highs (multiple women!!) + epic lows (writing women??) = pretty tolerable. not great, not terrible. it was aight. i trust the fandom to build on this tho.

narrative is the big one tho. it's the whole "doing so much with so little" thing they've got going on (i'm ignoring their big budget here lol, could've been bigger). rather than having one main story with many connecting side stories (like BoB), it does the TP thing where there's many semi-connecting side stories set in the same general area. it helps that there's crosby's narration (i enjoy narration, sue me!), and he helps everything connect, sorta. but there's still other side stories that have Nothing to do with him (sandra's side gigs (revealing what she did takes away the mystery of what she Might be doing), the tuskegee airmen, quinn and bailey's eurotrip). would it have helped if there were two narrators (say, someone like rosie)? idk. gonna sit with that one. if there's a through-line, it's not super obvious like in the other two shows. which is insanely funny to me bc i literally like TP less, but that show's got an Extremely tight through-line all the way down. i can't lie and say it doesn't!

back to budget- i've seen people criticize this show for being called "masters of the air" when there's not much of "the air". ig that's fair, but there's the money issue, again. also, it'd get very repetitive if they were always in "the air". there was enough confusion about identifying who was who with the masks on, so imagine if that was Every Episode. out of All the issues the show has, this is the least issue-y. again, that's just my opinion, and it could change.

another budget thing (i think??)- idk enough about costuming and hair for period pieces so i can't comment on that with my 0 background in it, all i Can say is that i knoooooow people were clowning on marjorie cleven's hair in episode 1 (and i could see why, no such thing as 1940s beach waves). but from what i could understand- that actress' addition was a last-minute thing (bc i had No idea who the hell she was and i already found someone cast for marjorie all the way back in 2021). maybe there's something to say about the quality of rush jobs, but i really do think it was the most last-minute thing bc it came out of Nowhere, and timeline-wise, it looks like that bit was done long after everything else had been filmed. outside looking in, it seems something probably went wrong/didn't work out with who or what they already had and there wasn't enough wiggle room (time and money) to fix it. this isn't me being an apologist (lol), but i feel like a theorist at a big board bc nothing adds up! and i wanna know what happened! i'm just speculating! speculating on this blog is All i did for like Years lmaooo.

this is more of a side thing, but some of the lines in MotA feel really on-the-nose, almost corny. and that was Gonna be a knock against it, but there's some equally Extremely on-the-nose lines in both BoB and TP (Especially in BoB), so if i give MotA shit for it, i'd have to give all three shows shit for it lol. none of them are free of cheese.

another silly aside- no peaches, no main gingers, no main eugenes! we can't have 'em all, but c'mon!

there Is some good tho lol. one thing that MotA really has going for it, that i think the other shows have less of, is- and GOD it feels so weird to call this "world-building" when it's actual goddamn history, but- it's got world-building. maybe that isn't the best word for it. but i like how much Bigger ww2 feels in this show. BoB is one stop, then the next stop, then the next stop, which is, admittedly, good from a narrative-perspective (easy to follow), but not as good when you want a scale of how devastating the war is (in fairness, it was filmed in 2000). even TP feels pretty "enclosed" in a way. there's island-hopping, yeah, but all the damn islands look the same (not including australia lol). it's a theatre of the war we otherwise don't really get to see, but there still isn't all that much to see. it's water and sand and rock and dirt. which is the point, but Whatever! would've been cool if we saw sledge and co. in china, but moving on. MotA's able to really show the scale of it, both in the air and on the ground (that scene in germany during episode 6 was both harrowing and fantastic, also the inclusion of the actual children forced to fight nearer to the war's end in the finale). idk i just liked how it was able to zoom in and zoom out (and in and out again) in a way that the other shows weren't.

another thing it's got that the other shows don't is Really driving home how young everyone is (not "child soldier" young, but damn young). the cast is full of baby faces (rip babyface). a lot of ww2 shows/movies don't bother casting to reflect this, but i think overlooking that takes away from the overall impact. you browse through some old newspaper articles or photos of soldiers during ww2 enough and you're gonna Regularly get hit with the face of someone who looks like they could've sat in the desk next to you during a high school lit class. a lot of those b&w grinning faces look like kids bc they pretty much were (more so if they lied about their age). you don't really get that in BoB or TP (it's Crazy when the real life pics of the soldiers portrayed in those shows look younger than the actors).

i'm mixed about the tuskegee airmen. what we have, i love (thank you, dee rees). unfortunately, my biggest irk is that it leaves me wanting more of them, which i won't ever get. speaking as a black person (not speaking for All black people, just how i personally feel about it), having them included feels like a catch-22. if they weren't included in any capacity (all while knowing there were whole tuskegee airmen in stalag iii with the white main characters), there'd be a problem. however, including them (all while having these time constraints and not enough focus on them) leads to the feeling of having them "tokenized" (which i can see). there's no world where there'd be 50/50 split (even a 70/30 split) bc, at that point, just give them a show of their own. but there'd still be a general annoyance that big budget ww2 shows are only ever white. on the other hand, hanks and spielberg and orloff and miller and all the directors (except dee rees) are white, and how good of a story about black people are you really gonna get from the perspective of nonblack people? that in mind, i personally don't feel put-off by having the three tuskegee airmen in the posters/trailers/promos, bc i just Know there'd be a whole nother problem if they weren't included in them at all despite being in the show for however long (it'd be even worse if they made their pictures smaller). like i don't work in advertising, but i don't know if a "sweet spot" even exists for something like this. people would be pissed off no matter what imo (i'm also speaking with a bias here bc i had to browse through sooooo many comments written by white guys whining and crying and pissing and shitting themselves once they learned that the tuskegee airmen were gonna be in the show in Any capacity, so i'm just cool knowing they're in shambles rn (and josiah cross- he played richard macon- always goes Wild seeing his face in the promos, and his joy is pretty contagious).

i give it somewhere like a 7.5-8/10. 3.75 stars out of 5. not perfect, subject to change, gotta marinate, but i'm overall happy with it! MotA's best episodes are better than many other individual hbo war episodes. should i be grading it using the overall sum of its parts, not just the different parts? idk, i'm not being paid to grade lol.

[halucynator]

Hi Lucy~~~ ✨ Please can I request a Draco Malfoy fic based on Maisie Peters ‘You to you’? x

You to You

I cannot express to you how happy I am that you requested this. I absolutely love Maisie Peters and this makes my day because she is one of my favourite artists (I have a lot lmao) and she is so underrated hope this is what you wanted xx sorry this is so late x I was trying to make it good xx

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x fem!reader

Warnings: angst, cursing (BC it's the lyrics), jealousy.

Summary: Draco did you dirty and you are determined to get back at him. And you're very good at expressing that.

Yes, this text contains of lyrics from other Maisie Peters songs, sue me (cause !! atleast !! then !! we !! could !! talk !!) they are in blue italic x

Three months ago today, he had your heart on a plate. You ate takeout on the floor, you gave the world to him and more.

As you saw Draco enter with his new girlfriend, you felt nothing but rage. You were such a perfect girlfriend and yet he decided to leave forever for something that won't even last.

"It took him a minute. To rip us up in a minute. To say he's done with committing." You said loudly enough for Draco and his new girlfriend to hear.

Draco sighed as he heard those words, knowing for well they were about him.

"Jesus Christ just move on already." Draco mumbled under his breath but you heard him.

"Oh, don't you think I'm trying." You said, offended by the audacity he had to say that.

As the rest of the common room burst into chatter, you sat there, observing Draco: how he talked to her, gave her time like he never did to you.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡*:☆

"I lost my friends, took his side! Had his back cause I thought he had mine. That was then, I was wrong." You said to Pansy as you entered your dorm that you shared with her.

"Hello Pansy! Hello y/n! Nice to see you! Nice to see you too!" Pansy mocked annoyed at the lack of introduction.

"Pansy, you know there's no time for introductions right now." You said glaring at her.

"Ok fine! What did he do now?" Pansy asked.

"What did he do? WHAT DID HE DO? WELL I DON'T KNOW PANSY, HE'S DONE A LOT OF THINGS! FOR STARTERS, HE PLAYED ME! THEN HE BROKE UP WITH ME AND MADE IT SEEM LIKE MY FAULT. THEN HE GOT TOGETHER WITH THE ONE GIRL WHO EVERYONE HATES." You half shouted at Pansy.

"Not many people hate Astoria." Pansy replied.

"That's what you got out of this?" You glared at Pansy, your voice dripping with annoyance and anger all together.

"Ok, what do you want me to do about it?" She asked.

"Well for starters you should- well that and- I have no idea." You said looking for an excuse to involve Pansy but failing miserably.

"Exactly. You're digging in this too much. You two are over. You need to enjoy your life." Pansy said.

"That's the first smart thing I've heard you say Pansy! Thanks!" You replied.

"No problem- wait what?!" Pansy pouted looking offended.

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You hoped that he'd find someone that he trusts. And he gives all his darkest secrets up. And then you hoped they break his heart in two.

"Hope she does a you to you to you to you to you." You mumbled under your breath as you saw him enter with Astoria.

"Still on him?" Theo asked seeing you stare at him.

"No way!" You replied.

"What he did was pretty shit. You deserve better." He said smiling at you.

"I shouldn't be surprised, he's not the 'meet the parents' type, he said he needed me, wanted to be with me, just didn't want his friends to see." You said as you glared daggers at him.

"Wow what a liar. What else did he say?" Pansy joined in on your conversation.

"Well, he said I was different. But I wasn't different, I was just a girl he said he loved. Now I wish that I'd listened." You said.

And you lost your friends. Took his side. Had his back cause you thought he had yours. That was then. You were wrong.

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"oh great there she is. She's so obsessed with me." Draco said to Astoria as you stared at you.

"I hope that you finds someone that you trust. And you give all your darkest secrets up. And then I hope she breaks your heart in two. Hope she does a you to you, to you, to you, to you. I hope you give her everything you got. And she tells you you're special when you're not. And then I hope she breaks your heart in two. Hope she does a you to you, to you, to you, to you." You murmured glaring at him, indicating just what he had gotten himself into.

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"I know I'm being bitter but my letters didn't get through to him. Knocked out both my owls oh look at that I guess it's two for two (sorry I couldn't come up with anything better ☠️)." You stated to Pansy angrily.

"He also might've sort of called you a psycho to all of us." Pansy said nervously.

"Calling me a psycho to our friends and that's not news to me. Wish it was, but honestly that's just so him. He should keep in mind that there's nothing I do better than revenge." You said angrily.

(yes a Taylor swift reference)

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"I heard you've been talking about me behind my back." Draco says. "Care to tell me what you've been saying?"

"It's none of your business." You said death staring him.

"It appears to me that it is very much my business. You're talking about me and for all I know, your pathetic self could be spreading rumours just as pathetic as you." He said surprisingly calmly.

"oh you wanna know? Here. This is what I've been saying." You began.

"Y/n no! You're better than this." Pansy stated. But it was too late. She should've known it was too late.

"I hope you think you've finally found the one. Then she fucks you over just for fun. Cause then maybe you'll realise what you do. Hope she does a you to you." You continued. Draco gave you a look as if daring you to continue.

"So I hope that you find someone that you trust and you give all your darkest secrets up. And then I hope she breaks your heart in two. Hope she does a you to you, to you, to you, to you, to you. Oh I hope she, yeah, I hope, I hope she breaks your heart."

"You don't mean that." He said seemingly unamused.

"Baby, oh you know I hope she does." You said shocked by his audacity.

And you hoped she would.

You hoped she would.

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I hope I didn't misinterpret the meaning of your request xx thank you for the idea! I love it! Request again 💖

[theghostbunnie]

A concept I was yapping about in a server a few months ago I think I should share here copy n paste style bc I kinda cooked w it

Nurf thinking him and Ered were good friends but Ered veiwing him with the same closeness she views the rest of the campbell kids like "yeah we're all friends" but he's like but I thought *we* were friends together, like Nerris and Harrison and Preston? Like Max Nikki and Neil? Like -

"Dude you're just listing parties of three,"

"I'm listing people who were *closer* Ered"

And she's just secretly awkward like wtf do you want from me? What do you want me to say? You were..a different kind of annoying than the rest sometimes, maybe less? Constantly trying to challenge me to bets n shit was atleast entertaining?? I'm not gonna poor my heart out to you just because you ask me to. Wanna go have therapy in the open woods for children to laugh at??? Wanna make a big blow out scene??

But she doesn't actually SAY any of that she just thinks it and gives him absolutely nothing to work with and Nurf just feels more alone than before, literally all he wants is a friend and the one he thought he had apparently didn't view him to the same extent and it makes him feel so shitty.

And maybe he could chalk it up to "Ered's just like that" but if I may be really silly and say in this concept she's become friends with Tyrone n Mitchell already Nurf just feels straight up *replaced* and takes it out on those two FREQUENTLY keeping his real feelings as to why he's being a dick a secret for once.

He goes to punch somebody else and it's a whole monologue first how this is bc of his dadBut he just *insults* these guys and doesn't even laugh at his own words like he usually does after.

And it doesn't even!!!!! Effect them!!! And it pisses him off worse!!! Even using the most petty tactic he still can't get any of them to hurt like he does and it's so frustrating.

Mitchell n Tyrone (I'm picturing this was a years worth ongoing problem or they were already in a HS AU)) pick up on something being off and finally get Ered to give some information and like girl no wonder the guy has been a total angry piss baby I'd feel terrible too if the one person who was the most regularly talking to me and sitting with me all summer only saw me just as important or lack there of as everyone else.

"You're saying it like I hate him, I don't, but I am getting irritated with this whole thing.. I'm not gonna start being MORE of his friend because he's throwing a fit"

Tyrone's like "but he's really not..? He's been leaving you alone now if you hadn't noticed, and mostly just saying the odd insult to us."

Mitchell: "You don't have to be his friend if you don't want to be that's your right."

Ered: "THANK you. Finally someone says it."

Mitchell: "But he gave you *his* friendship for a very long time and you did sort of spit on it. There's kind of a obvious reason he respected you enough to never make you a target"

"Because I'm technically top dog and he's two notches away from bottom dog, socially atleast."

"Because he *cherished your companionship,* Ered. He's pretty fuckin' equal opportunist if you haven't noticed."

Ered, starting to realize: "..............crap" bc!! Damnit Nurf is a sweetie under all his layers and she knows that and the guilt of hurting him is kinda weighing.

Ered leaves to go talk with him and Tyrone and Mitchell have what I think is a little funny interaction where Mitchell light heartedly is making a comment on the exchange they just had.

" 'top dog' no way she just said that, what is this, prison?? Did I wake up in *prison*?"

Tyrone, just as confused, speaking over him agreeingly: I know I know

And Nurf's just sitting in his room when his mom announces he has a friend here and he's like 'whuh' and Ered just. Steps in and stands there.

".. what do you want.?" Bc when she DOES talk to him to hang out, it's something she wants to do, *he's* stopped initiating things. And Ered has multiple people she's "not really close with but she calls over to do specific hobbies with" since she has so many hobbies.

"Just here to talk."

Okay now she has his attention did somebody fucking die what

"I haven't been a good friend to you." She states it pretty neutrally and flatly like everything she says

Nurf's just looking at her. Girl it is a Thursday afternoon on god's green earth he is trying to do his homework rn. Half of the awnsers atleast.

She doesn't even say sorry. That was just the statement she knew was true now. "If you would like,,.. I can be a better one." She looks over once then nods her head simply.

"You're offering to be my friend just straight up like that?" Is this kindergarten.

"Feel free to decline, man." She shrugs, still neutral.

"No,no I'm not saying that" he puts his pencil down. "Can I just get an honest awnser why I wasn't one to you before?"

Ered sighs. "Promise not to tell?" Speaks a little quieter.

And he is listening SO HARD!!!!!!!

Ered inhales rlly slowly, sticks her hand out to reintroduce herself.

"Meredith Miller.

__Everything I do is to protect myself.__"

He just makes a little bit of a face like go on elaborate on that for me he is so confused and so intrigued and by what he's ASSUMING so far should he be offended.

"You're alot better person than you were back then, people don't give you enough credit for that."

The simultaneous embarrassment of remembering his hardcore bully era and the flattery of a genuine compliment like that being so rare from Ered to anyone.

"And I couldn't trust you that well then as I think I could now. Most of my friends sort of just learn this out themselves slowly but you're not going to unless I spell it out I guess. I'm not a vulnerable or open person, like, at all? Everything I do is to hide I'm flawed. Even *capable* of flaw. I build a reputation, so when I do make little mistakes, or have little quirks, people think I'm doing it ironically, or something, so people just *always* have the best assumptions of me. I abbreviate words over text I don't know how to spell off the top of my head and people think I'm just being cool. I still like how Capri moon tastes and people think I'm just too cool to even care what I have to drink because I'm so above judgement."

"So you're just.. constantly pretending?"

"No, ..sort of."

"I do it so I *can* be myself without it tanking how people veiw me, an actual genuine image of what I am I just work hard to make sure people are *nice* about it. Most of them atleast." Like a safety net built from a good reputation.

"Bigger mistakes though.. people turn on me.

And you were always turned against everyone, dude"

"Sorry.."

"It's fine. We've all got our methods." She understands his behavior comes from a really similar place.

"Nothing I said leaves this room." Pats her hand to his doorway twice as she walks out of it. "See you around."

"..... CAN WE GO BOWLING SATURDAY?"

Ered sort of stops herself mid-way going out the front door. "...Sure!" And is a little surprised he already wants to chill with her

[wildflowerluver]

HI I LOVE YOUR WORKS AND YOURE AWESOME !!! some of my fav hotch fics ever for real <3

if you’re still looking for ideas for the aaron hurt/comfort idea you posted about i thought i'd try to supply you with inspo ! maybe reader is an anxious overthinker (couldn't be any of us hotch stans wdym) and is feeling really anxious bc they feel like they made a friend mad/upset for some reason bc the friend seemed a little off + hasn't replied to readers messages. so poor reader is just so concerned and scared they did something wrong and on top of that they're tired, stressed, and overall overwhelmed so they just CRYYY and ofc hotch comes along and does his comfort thing and reasons through it with them. and then reader's friend texts them back like hey sorry i was really busy today but yeah! we should definitely go out more, i had a ton of fun today!! bc we need closure here LOL and then reader can cuddle and fall asleep with hotch to get out any lingering anxiety and take care of that sleepiness fr

THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRY MY BRAIN WAS TRYING SO HARD TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING AND IT TRIED A LITTLE TOO HARD I THINK LMAO hopefully this sparks something for you tho ! of course feel free to do what you wish with this, change it around, whatever it may be there's always no pressure !! happy vibes for you <3

(ria!!! thank u for ur request ily <33) fem!reader, anxiety, mentions of past friendship issues, hurt/comfort vibes, 1k words

ʚ♡ɞ

you had a natural tendency to overthink.

every interaction, big or small, seemed to replay in your head for hours. had you said something off? did that person see something strange about you?

you were terrified to tell aaron about your struggles with anxiety and overthinking. it hadn’t gone well in the past several times and you didn’t want aaron to leave too. but, he didn’t. it never even crossed your mind.

aaron collected you in his arms, squeezing you tightly and thanking you for telling him. he asked what you needed from him.

“reassurance,” you spoke tentatively. not once had a previous partner asked how they could help. “and maybe a kiss.”

his laugh was full-body, lips upturning. “i think both of those can definitely be arranged.”

___

aaron hadn’t been home a lot recently.

he was away on a case down in texas, then swarmed with meetings and paperwork, another local case, and more paperwork. the absence of him was starting to impact you severely.

just in the way you were open about your anxiety, he was open about his job and the time aspect of it. he called or texted, reassuring (like he promised), that he would be home soon or the timeframe of the case. you just couldn’t help your intrusive thoughts from creeping up. 

you tried to fill his absence in a productive way, maximizing the time you had outside of work by reaching out to some friends to hang out. your friend B and you set up a lunch date. she was a close friend and you knew being in her company would help your mood.

usually when you’re with her, time seems to go by fast and conversation flows easily. this time was the opposite. you had met for lunch downtown and expected it to be like it always was. instead, it felt so forced it was almost uncomfortable. naturally, your brain had drifted into believing it was something you had said.

you were on autopilot going home, brain reeling at lunch. you wanted aaron. he always knew what to say or do and was your number one comfort. but he wasn’t here. 

you trudged into the house, haphazardly dropping your bag. you sat in front of the fireplace, it wasn’t warm but in your mind it was. 

it was the first time in weeks you felt like you had a moment to stop. 

the tears came hot and fast.

you buried your head in your knees, arms wrapping around your legs as your body shook. everything felt wrong and you were so terrified you had hurt B.

you were exhausted. 

the back door open and closed. you hardly took notice. your head was pounding.

“honey!” aaron’s voice rang through the home. “i’m home!”

his voice only made you cry harder, though you kept your sobs muffled by the fabric of your pants. it was early, he shouldn’t be home yet. why was he home?

“honey?” he called again. “i got off early today, sent the entire team home early too. figured we all-”

he stopped dead in his tracks when he entered the living room and his eyes fell on you. “oh, honey.”

in an instant, aaron was kneeling down at your side. the second his hand touched your back, you broke. you threw your body into him, needing to feel him close. he held you while you cried, hand rubbing up your back. he didn’t shush you or help you calm down just yet. you just needed to cry.

after a few minutes aaron pulled back, hands reaching up to cup your face. he thumbed away a few stray tears that continued to roll. 

“what’s hurting you?”

you took a deep breath before explaining. it was always easy with aaron to be honest. you rambled about his absence, how you missed him, how work had been a little tough lately, lunch with B, how you feel like you said or did something that made it feel off. everything.

though aaron had sat back on the carpet, your hands remained interlocked. he squeezed them occasionally throughout your words.

he collected you in his arms when you finished. “i’m so sorry about being away. i shouldn’t be going anywhere for awhile. i’m sure B is okay. you didn’t say anything off. maybe she was just having a bad day.”

your phone dinged on the table.

aaron picked it up, features softening at the text. perfect timing.

‘hey! so sorry if i seemed a little off at lunch today - work has just been super crazy and i got an email right before about a deadline being pushed up so i was distracted. it was still so so nice to get together, we should definitely do it again sometime soon!!’

he showed you the text B just sent. his hand fell to the small of your back again, finding the patch of exposed skin and leaving his hand there. 

B’s text eased your anxiety. you didn’t do anything wrong. she was just having an off day.

“do you feel better? about B at least?”

you hummed. “a little, yeah.”

you slumped into aaron’s side. “can we go lay down for a little?”

he kissed your cheek. “absolutely.” 

aaron guided you upstairs, stopping though to put his work things away though he motioned for you to head into the bedroom to get settled.

you kept the lights in the room off before crawling into bed. physical and mental exhaustion was clouding your brain.  

aaron padded in a few seconds after you, quickly changing out of his work clothes and into soft sweatpants and a shirt. he stopped at the edge of the bed, eyes peering down at you.

“how are we doing this tonight?” he motioned toward the bed with his hand.

“can you just hold me?”

he smiled softly. “of course honey.”

aaron slid under the covers beside you. he raised one arm, an open invitation for you to curl up. you did, sliding over and tangling your legs with his. he, in turn, tucked you under his chin and brought his arms to cocoon around you.

“it’s gonna be okay, i promise.”

he sealed his words with a strong kiss to the crown of your head. 

somehow you knew it would.

[larcenywrites]

I love those headcanons about trying anal sex with young!Tony, and they got me wondering if you'd be comfortable with writing hcs about pegging young!Tony?! 😳 Like, maybe it's after those hcs, and his girlfriend brings it up and asks what he thinks. And he's like nervous but also quite curious to try it... and the whole warm up is similar to what he did for her and she gets him ready by stimulating his perineum a lot, then actually getting him used to the feeling with her fingers and with buttplugs until he can finally take a strap on. And he turns into the perfect little sub for her and he gets all the praise he wants and deserves plus aftercare. Totally okay if you don't feel comfortable/don't want to write this!! Thank you for your time and attention anyways!

GIRRRL (gender neutral) YOU’RE DRIVING ME CRAZY 🥵🫠 Ngl I’ve thought about this even before those hcs 🤤 I’m glad you liked the anal sex hcs bc I sure did 😫 but I’m not sure if these are quite as good since I’ve never written this :(

Warnings: 18+ obviously | pegging | afab reader implied but only explicitly referenced a time or two if you wanna read it as normal m/m fucking 🤷‍♀️ though I do use the word dildo or strap-on a few times as well | some Dom reader/sub Tony |

Pegging | Headcanons

💠Honestly, I'm sure he's already thought about it, having seen all of your new toys and all, but he probably won't bring it up himself. There probably haven't been many cases where he's let you top, anyway (which is a whole different story), and he might be apprehensive about bringing it up. Sure, you experiment and all, but this is kinda a whole new level for a number of reasons. He's still all good with the usual stuff! Don't ruin a good thing, right? What if you're pretty turned off by it or something :(

💠 It's really the complete opposite! But he doesn't know that. Honestly, asking him about anal earlier probably gave you a bout of courage! He's probably the one that's usually bringing up new ideas, and since yours went so well, why not just ask about this? Even if he's not into it, he obviously won't be upset or anything.

💠So! …catch him off guard, just like before. Maybe he's half asleep, or still waking up from a nap, and innocently slide on top of him. He probably won't look down at you until your too-innocent "Hey, Tony?" Then his attention is most piqued. "If I asked really nicely, would you say yes to something?"

"Depends on what it is."

"Would you ever let me peg you?"

💠He looks away because he's embarrassed that his answer is gonna be an immediate yes, and he's trying to think of a cooler answer 🤧 "I'd let you try." He almost says it like he's challenging you, but it's all you need.

💠 You're not quite sure where to start with him, but you do go ahead and get a little red butt plug for him 😘 and maybe a vibrating one, too 😏

💠But you can really only go by how he treated you tbh, so maybe start slower. Get down on your knees, take his cock in your mouth and jerk off what you can't take down your throat, and use your other hand to play with his balls. Just like normal. Inch a little closer to that little area behind his balls and gently rub circles. He'll definitely jump in surprise… which will just send his cock further down your throat, but now you have another free hand to keep massaging his sac 🤤

💠 "Fuck." is probably the only strangled word you'll hear, if any, between throaty grunts. His hands will be tightly gripped in your hair to hold you close while his thrusts are more like oversensitive twitches of his hips. He'll have so much going on at one time, he might even get to experience that tremble in his legs that he's usually causing you 🤭 The more he's twitching in your throat, the more pressure you should apply 😋 You'll have him cumming in seconds, and a lot. You can keep going if you want, especially when he can't decide whether to twitch away from your tongue or away from your fingers, and just ends up making his situation worse (or better 😏). 

💠Honestly you can keep the experimenting around here for a few days if you want, maybe start massaging your fingers from his perineum to his ass and back and forth. If you want to get him really riled up, take a vibrator to it, but be prepared: he'll cum within seconds, and hard. The mess he makes will have you eager to see how much more of a mess he could make, and the longer you build him up, the more eager he is for the real thing 🤤

💠 He'll let you know when he wants one of his new toys, getting it out before you can even get his dick in your mouth this time. Honestly, do what you've been doing, except this time, instead of just fingers snaking around while you suck him off, massage the silky silicone plug around his tight hole, and maybe choke on his cock when those hips instinctively still twitch away. You might want to be back against the bed this time to give him something to hold on to while you ease it in, and he'll definitely be pushing you against the mattress while he can't decide whether to squeeze his thighs together or spread his legs 😮‍💨

💠Let him get used to it and watch him squirm (and feel him squirm), push at his already twitching abs to gain more room to work with and repeat your original process of massaging all around his balls while your tongue massages his dick 😌 He'll fuck you with it still inside, and he'll already be falling apart on top of you because when he thrusts a certain way and just hard enough, there's a certain poking pressure that has his dick pulsing but not enough to cum. It's more like chasing after a powerful orgasm he knows is there and fucks the hell out of you to try and find it, and the semi-edging is both frustrating and hot af too 😫

💠Hardly a day or three passes, though, and he wants the vibrating one ASAP

💠 He'll be a moaning mess melting into your neck in seconds, and thrusting feebly while it practically milks him, but only when he's pressed into you so hard, but the constant friction keeps him hard and hips jolting 🥴

💠 There's going to be a lot of cum 🥵 cum flooding out of you, too much to keep in your mouth, a mess on the floor— if he's a whining mess that can't stop cumming now…

💠He may size up once or twice, but the strap-on isn't that big to begin with, and Tony's probably been eyeing it 👀

💠Honestly it's going to be kinda funny at first trying to put it on and trying to make him get on his hands and knees 🤧🤧 but sex is supposed to be a little funny sometimes 😌 He's never been in that position and is going to be very stiff and awkward 👉👈 but he also doesn't necessarily want to look at you bc he's awkward and shy about it so…

💠So that means don't smack his ass no matter how tempting it is 😫

💠Also this mf works overtime on his appearance all the time so he's probably been pretty clean shaven 💅👀

💠His face is already buried in the sheets, probably from being shy, but he's low-key a little nervous too and probably already biting at the pillow just from you trying to push in 😮‍💨 tbh it'll help relax him if you suck him off first or even just have normal sex first! Either way, he'll be leaking precum 🫠 Don't be afraid to swipe at his tip and smear some of that warm arousal around 😉 he'll probably grip the pillow and hide away even more, but it's just bc it made him hornier 😌

💠Definitely go slow. Sure, he's had a little practice by now, but Tony's never been penetrated like this 😳 His thighs are already shaking just from the tip sliding in, but a muffled "fuck, keep going" will beg you to keep going anyway when you stop to get him a minute. Slide in until you can't anymore and watch him squirm against you for a minute 🥴 he'll definitely jolt when you run your hands over his hips or up his back, not very used to the roles being switched and all, but he'll quickly relax into your touch and arc his back a little.

💠Maybe jerk him off while you wait 😏 watch his thighs squeeze together while you do and listen to deep groans. He'll probably end up starting to fuck himself on the dildo while instinctively trying to grind against you, groaning a little louder 🥴 he's definitely letting you know you should start moving 😘

💠But keep starting slow, don't pull out too much too fast. Keep thrusting shallow and slow. Eventually you'll hear a whine that you've never heard before 😳 and it'll definitely make you want to step up your game 😈 start pulling out a little further each time and bottom out each time

💠 It's probably going to feel pretty unnatural, and it'll be a learning curve at first because you'll learn real quick that you need some stamina to thrust like that 😮‍💨 honestly it makes Tony just a little more impressive!

💠 He'll probably be hugging the pillow, but the quicker you can go, the more you'll get to hear those little whimpers

💠 He'll cum without warning! You'll only know by the sudden moan and the stiff thrusting of his hips that has him pushing and grinding against you and making him cum more 🥴 For the first time during the whole experience, he'll be tapping out with a hand on your thigh or whatever part of you he can reach. Maybe be evil and tease him just a little bit, press into him a little harder until he's shuddering before actually pulling out

💠The sheets will definitely need to be replaced no matter how much he just wants to curl up. Now he knows how you feel...

💠But once you do, he'll be curled under the blanket and probably still hiding in the pillow 🥺 He'll nod when you ask him if he's okay, he's just embarrassed and a little subby 🤭 join him on his pillow and hug him into you. Your little kisses might make him a little more shy, but he's enjoying it 😉

💠Once you both get more familiar, and maybe you get a little more stamina for it, just pound into him 🥵 slap your hips again his ass and use him as leverage when you slide your hands up his arched back. His very loud moans will turn into punched-out whines the closer he gets, and the more he'll hug his pillow 😌

💠Tug his head back by his hair and make him yelp! He'll probably cum instantly the first time you do, but keep fucking into him this time. Treat him how he treats you 😘 which is really the only thing you have to go off of tbh

💠 "You can take it, baby." Encourage him and he'll melt. With a drawn-out whimperish groan and clenching thighs. Jerk him off if you're feeling a bit evil 😈 Milk him for everything he has 😈

💠 It'll become another Dom/sub dynamic, but be a little more on the gentle side (usually). Or at least, gentle when he's starting to sob and tire out 😌

💠Eventually he'll be laid on his stomach one way or another. When he's really close or nearly sobbing, slow down and lay on his back. Hook your arms under his and rub at his and kiss his neck, or play with his hair.

💠 "Does that feel good, pretty boy?" Whisper in his ear and practically feel him shiver under you. He'll nod into the pillow and grind his cock against the mattress 🫠 and the harder you thrust, the more you'll help him out with that 😉

💠Tell him how good he takes it. Suck slow hickeys into his neck, and kiss it when he moans. He might even cry the first time, but unfortunately, you might not get to see it 😔

💠When he does cum in this position, shush him while pressing into him even harder. A quiet "there you go, pretty boy" or "that's a good boy" might melt his brain every time. And make him cum just a bit harder before he's finished 😏

💠Play with his hair and kiss whatever you can reach, and he'll be limp beneath you for as long as you want, even while you still have the strap-on still buried inside him (and low key he may be wishing he was being filled with cum 🥲)

💠Ruffle his hair and give him one more kiss before getting off him and sliding out (or be evil and just start pounding into him again— he won't really complain 😌). There will be cleanup every time unless you wise up and decide to put a towel down, which would definitely benefit Tony because he does not want to get up and will protest until he's had a certain number of kisses and pleases >:(

💠Eventually he'll get confident enough to lay on his back, and let you finally get to see him and his cock again. Keep your hands on his twitching abs and watch him moan towards the ceiling, no longer muffled into the sheets! Dig your nails into his skin to draw his attention towards you again to better see his blushing cheeks and pleading doe eyes 🥺

💠Lean over him and let his cock rub against your stomach, and trail warm precum along your skin. If you want you can jerk him off, but it may be much more fun to ask him to do it, and he'll obey in an instant. Maybe sit still and pressed inside him until he's done a good job, even if he's begging you to move again 😌

💠Time it right and thrust with his own movements, and he'll probably cum more than you've ever seen 😮‍💨 it'll definitely end up all over his chest and stomach, and if you've found that right little angle to fuck him at by now, you can even simply press the dildo's tip into it and get him to cum again right after he just finished 🥴

💠Press into him and lick a little off his chest before you slip out, and then lick off the rest when you can move around more. Climb on top of him once you've cleaned him up and just nuzzle into him with kisses and run fingers through his hair. He'll eat up the affection, and might even get hard again at any praise 😏

💠If you wanna get a little rough, scratch down his back like you normally do and mock him a little when his back arches towards the bed. "Who knew Tony Stark was such a tight little twink~" Keep your tone playful and sultry, and you'll have him whimpering a pout before moaning out when you start to speed up, but still make sure to call him your good boy 😘

💠Sometimes you may have to wipe away a tear or two (or kiss them away), and always pull him into your chest and let him hide in your neck. He still might be a bit shy about it sometimes, so you may be spooning him from behind instead.

💠Give him several minutes and he may return the favor 😏 the harder you can fuck him, the harder he'll fuck you soooo 😉

💠Sometimes he'll let you tie him up, and might even beg you to jerk him off while he is. You can choose whether or not to obey, or just tortuously rub right under the head of his dick because he doesn't control the narrative anymore 😌 You might even pull an "I'm sorry, Mommy" out of him because he's so desperate…

💠Tbh wear thigh highs while you fuck him and you'll have no trouble keeping his eyes on you, but he'll be a little upset if you make him get on his knees instead 😔 And sorry to upset you, but even you probably won't be able to force him into any thigh highs 😭 maybe one day?

💠He's a size queen 💅 You'll have to buy a new strap-on pretty soon, and he'll pick out a much bigger size-up than you had in mind 👀 maybe this one could have a cum tube- for research purposes, of course 😌

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself Story ( 18+)

CW: Pregnancy, adult topics, cheating

I didn’t think I’d get so jealous. But it’s my own fault I would say. 😕Nobody forced me to come here, where my ex and his (Ex) -fiancée lived together...

Nico: Sorry. But I put away almost everything that was possible. Her furnishings I can’t just let disappear overnight.

Me: What?... Um, no! I-... I don’t mind those furniture she bought or all that stuff. It looks great. Tbh, this is perfect! I just wonder, why didn’t it look like this in our apartment back then? I couldn’t even buy a new couch, without you starting to discuss with me. But you allowed her to change everything here.

Nico: Didn’t you listen to me a few mins ago? She bought all this shit here without my permission. I had no idea about it! I was playing soccer abroad. And you got a new couch back then. Just remember how many times I painted the walls for you. Hm?

Me: All this here looks pretty expensive, compared to our apartment. I kind of feel like she’s.... like Isabella.🤑

Nico: Isabella?... Hell, no! ..And she’s not wealthy like Isabella, if that’s what you wanted to know. Actually, she’s like.... you. Self-conscious, anxious, indecisive, a bit shy and.... sad. 🫤

Me: You must have a weakness for depressed women, ha?

Nico: You know what I meant. But she's not hooked, she has other serious..... issues. Just she’s not as cute and hot as you are to me.

Me: Yea, sure.... I just don’t understand why you moved in with her? I mean, you have a house! A pretty big one! An apartment was not really necessary. 🤨

Nico: Excuse me?.. Why would I live with my mother? You and P. also had plans to move together. Why is it allowed for you, but not for me?... Yes, he told me you chose him, when I visited him at his fucking college. So I had to move away, to avoid the two of you! But this here isn't her place. I was here before she and I got....well, serious.

Me: Sorry. I didn’t mean to. And I didn’t really choose Philip. I thought I had it, but.... no. I lied to him and myself. I always felt bad about you and he too! That’s why it was so easy for me to fall in love with Daniel. Frankly... I was glad that it was over with Philip. I didn’t want anything to do with you two, after I was with him abroad. 😒

Nico: That wasn't my fault, his ... Natasha bitch. I never did such a shit to you. But to be clear, I’m not blaming you for my own mistake! I’m sorry I asked you to sleep with him. I never admitted it, but.. the first time I saw you & him together,..... I wanted to kill P. ... Yea, now it’s out. I was jealous. Even though that damn thing was my fucking idea.🤷‍♂️

Me: And still, you insisted that I continue.......Hm? You know? But that spa-weekend was pretty nice. We should definitely repeat this. Just the two of us, of course!! Without Philip...... So sorry, N.

Nico: And I'm sorry for being crazy. I was so stupid to share you with Philip and pass between the two of us. I thought that would help you and I trusted P. Never thought he’d take you away from me. I was sure you would choose me if necessary.

Me: I chose you, but I couldn’t tell anyone. I didn't want to hurt P., so I went nuts and told my Dad.🤦‍♀️I told him the last 3 weeks alone with P. were hard. He locked me up not to relapse... and that you couldn't leave me alone, bcs I started using. I said all this to him... I wanted my Dad to get me out of that mess. Not really, I just didn't know what to do?...I was so unhappy bcs you had to go back to Italy. And at the same time afraid to lose P. But my crazy Dad sent you away, not Philip.

A bit later....

Nico: That movie sucks, babe. You really wanna keep watching this crap?... I’d rather continue with you.😏

Me: I gotta tell you something... Something serious. (🍼🤰 )

Nico: Daniel?? 🙄

Me: Agh, no... Anyway, let's talk later. I want you, too N.

Nico: From now on, you stay with me.

Me: She didn't even really move out here.... but I'd love to stay with you. 🩷

Nico: Then you stay, babe. No time to waste. I have so many plans for you. But most importantly, you divorce Daniel.

Me: This time, I’m not questioning what you’re up to.. I’ll do whatever you want. Besides, I have plans for you too. (😬🍼) And Daniel took off anyway. He doesn't want me.

Nico: His mistake, my gain. Such an moron!

And that's N.'s (ex-) fiancée. Stephanie.🤨 Don’t worry, she didn’t catch us in bed!!! But she was there! I didn’t see her myself the moment she came. I was sleeping. Nico was up. She came by to pick up her stuff, he thought. But she also wanted to talk to him and did not intend to leave. He didn’t tell her I was in his bedroom, he just asked her to leave. Nico told me she was crying and wearing... sleepwear?

He seemed worried and was somehow.... weird to me after she showed up at his place. I had the feeling, he didn’t want me anymore? 😞 All though a few hours ago, he wanted me to stay with him. He wanted me to move in with him. You know? However, I asked him to drive me home to my parents. I had to change & shower, so yea, he dropped me at my parent's house and said, that he would pick me up in 2 hours. I was so relieved that he wanted to come back. I was afraid to lose him a second time. Besides, I was pregnant. I mean, I haven’t taken a test yet, but I just knew it. Something changed in my body, I could literally feel it. It was like the last time I was pregnant. And btw, I told Nico what happened to me last year, about this whole annoying issue with my contraception. He reacted totally relaxed. He said, if I want a baby, he wouldn’t use protection. I really didn’t expect that!! 😲 I knew Nico never wanted to have children. At least not at this point. I was about to tell him, I was very likely pregnant, but I wanted to take a test first, to be absolutely sure!! I was so happy about N.’s composure on this subject. I already imagined our future with our Baby and all this. 🩵 Just as I mentioned before, the next morning, all this seemed to be in danger, bcs of that girl, Stephanie. 😓

Previous/ Next

[acaciapines]

I just read all your deltarune fics and. I have to know. do you have playlists for each of the characters. and if you do. could you please share them. i’m so so curious about songs you attribute to each of the characters bc i love your interpretation of them so so much

oh!!! im glad you enjoyed them!!

i do have several playlists but not in any form i could share so. uh. instead i'll just make a list of all my most favorite songs i associate with these kids 'cause if i did every song we would be here for A Long While.

do feel free to send in another ask if you want me to explain one in more depth!!! im one of those people who cannot escape associating songs w/ characters/stories so i have a LOT more i could say if that is wanted lol.

Little Fang - Avey Tare's Slasher Flicks: literally The Most Kris Song Of All Time, like do I even have to explain it. its just Them.

Real Love Song - Nothing But Thieves: this is a newer one on my kris playlist but i think it really fits their relationship with dess--taking the 'love' part in a familial/platonic way, 'can i sing this to you / got a thing about you / and it won't go away' i think this song really captures the sort of...hold dess's opinion always has over kris's sense of self, and the way they feel about her isn't exactly returned equally. in a sense this fits more with my dess-raises-kris au but it does work for kris in my other works too.

San Cristobol - Mal Blum: this is the dess song of all time to the point where it's my voiceclaim for her and is half the reason the band au exists. one big part of my dess is that she leaves voluntarily, even if she might get stuck in a dark world later on--she leaves ON PURPOSE, because she wants to. and this song is like, leaving people behind, 'sometimes i think i left you just to see if i'd be missed,' and sort of wanting to reach out but also maybe not. in a world where dess sings this she is singing it to asriel.

My Tiger, My Heart - The Boy Least Likely To: another dess song of all time, if the last one is dess singing to asriel, this one is her to kris&noelle. this song has been on my dess playlist for so long i've scripted out an animatic to it. specifically i see this as being a song for the space after she sees the bunker but before she leaves--like 'my tiger my heart / we're growing apart' in regards to how she sees kris, and then 'and i think it would be / happier / being free' LIKE. GOD. ITS SO GOOD.

Wash - Floor Cry: noelle about dess...specifically noelle as i write her in the holiday-dreemurr kids series, her pov fic in there was named after this song, but its just about. how you idolize your older sister and then she leaves and comes back and maybe isnt as good as you thought she was and you realize you're going to pick kris over her and so its about 'i never want to / become just like you / it's pretty simple / wish i could tell you why' because noelle struggles with this because she should be happy her sister is back, right? and yet...

Sidelined - The Garages: this is THE RALSEI SONG OF ALL TIME.....like. oh my GOD just listen to it. it's ralsei all the way down, how she struggles with figuring out who she is, with being a darkner, with the prophecy and the weight it puts on her, and how she's supposed to be left behind and forgotten but she doesn't want that and how scary it is to try and be a person when the world never wanted you to be one.

Pluto - Sleeping at Last: ANOTHER RALSEI SONG....this one specifically is in regards to the dess raises kris au lol since i explore ralsei/susie/noelle there but it works for ralsei in all universes. like just listen to it. it's so ralseicore. its similar in theme to sidelined so im not going to repeat myself but just 'i've been worried all my life / a nervous wreak most of the time' to the chorus of 'til one day i had enough / of the exercise of trust / i leaned in and let it hurt / let my body feel the dirt.' LIKE

and these are most of my big ones! i have more around somewhere but most of these i dont even have in a playlist i just sort of remember whenever the song comes on njdfgdfg. sorry theres not so much asriel or susie here i just dont have as good songs for them.

once again if you (general) want me to dive more into one of the songs lemme know!!! i will always talk about these kids!!!

[welcometogrouchland]

not only is darimila HYSTERICALLY funny as a crackship i think camila deserves a nice peacock of a boyfriend. i want her to show a photo of him at work and his coworkers are too busy wondering if this guy is an actor or a model or what to wonder about the ears or the goo hair. can you imagine darius helping the nocedas with groceries high heels and green eyeliner and god knows what else. MAN.

Firstly I love that this ask implies that Darius puts 0 effort into concealing his identity as a witch when he's in the human realm. This man is fully willing to expose magic and the demon realm in the town famous for producing a crackpot genocidal witch hunter everyone hates IF. and only if he can look fabulous doing it

I'm also on team Camila Deserves Nice Things anon, though I do differ on the details slightly, mainly because I'm sooooo enchanted by the Darius and Camila fake dating scenario I've cooked up in my brain. It both appeases the part of me that adheres to canon characterization of Camila as a woman who still, years later, has boxes of Manny's stuff lying around the house, yet to be put away, bc realistically she did not get proper space to mourn him when he died and she is not ready to move on...AND the part of me that, like you, wants Camilla's coworkers to see a picture of Darius and LOSE THEIR MINDS. HELLO??? THIS IS THE BAD BITCH SHE PULLED BY BEING AUTISTIC??? FR???????

And then I'm unsure whether or not I prefer Darius with romantic feelings for Camila? On the one hand I think, in the beautiful timeline where I actually wrote this, I'd prefer to have it come down on the side of "Darius and Camila are Good Friends who bond over how terrifying being a new(ly), single parent is"

and Hunter has to grapple with the fact that no, his family is not and never will be "normal" according to societies standards, and he cannot parent trap his parents into loving each other, but that doesn't make his family structure any worse off than something closer to a nuclear family.

Also I'd squeeze some juicy character exploration out of Luz bc she is SO not over her dad's death. She tries to downplay it and act like she is but she is not and it's very very clear in TTT. But she also wants her mom to be happy more than anything. And she loves love! And it'd make hunter happy! So she's just. Sitting there with gritted teeth trying not to get upset at the idea of Darius and her mom actually getting together and being happy.

But, tragically, I can't guarantee I'll ever fully write this out (though I fully encourage ppl to run with the idea if they like it. Please run with it I can't be the only one who's thought of this before) so I give myself a little more room to be silly and I say that. Darius is a person with a lot of walls up who likes pretending to be cool as a method of distancing himself from ppl, and I'd love to watch those walls get eroded by the overly sincere and silly sci-fi nerds that are his son-figure and his crush, who are also mother and son. Also I love the idea of Darius being a man in his forties with a crush. Yes!! Get more pathetic!!! Raeda is cowering rn!!!!!

IN CONCLUSION: I love you anon, I should really make SOMETHING based on the Darius Camila fake dating scenario, but if I don't, let this rambling serve as a testament to the GRIP it has on my brain

[riddlerosehearts]

HII ITS IDIAVIL ANON AGAIN!!! i wanted to respond to the post u made in response to my ask... I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND NOT BEING ABLE 2 WRITE FICS LIKE!! ive been creatively writing for years and when it comes to stuff im rlly passionate abt i can become super duper creative. my struggle with writing fanfic is finding the time and motivation, plus my adhd makes it difficult for me to focus, BUT IVE BEEN DOING BETTER RECENTLY!!! im kinda familiar with wicked? i saw it on stage back when i was just a wee lad but i dont remember much of it (i honestly think i fell asleep ;-;) but i've been wanting to watch both the play and the new movie, i just haven't gotten to it yet. i will definitely keep this in mind as i watch both!! a few weeks ago i actually watched jennifer's body for the first time, i'd been wanting to watch it but then i saw someone mention a jennifer's body idiavil au and oh my gods i literally couldnt stop thinking about it. i've definitely kept that au in mind, and i will do the same for the wicked au!! when i do eventually watch wicked i'll probably send another giant yapping paragraph in ur asks abt it... ALSO PLEEASEE I WOULD LOVE LOVE LOVE TO HEAR MORE ABT UR AU IT SEEMS SO COOL!!! also. hercules au. oh my god u get me. i'm not exaggerating when i say i've thought abt the idiavil meg and hercules parallel at least once a day for the past like five or so months. i NEVER stop talking to my friends about it EVER. i was actually on a disney cruise (twas a family trip) about a month ago and they had a giant tv above the pool, they showed a movie every fifteen minutes (after the movie prior had ended) and WHEN I TELL YOU I FREAKED OUT WHEN I SAW THEY HAD A SHOWING FOR HERCULES. AND I HAD TO RESIST FROM STIMMING (i get embarrassed when i stim in public bc i dont like being looked at or percieved like ever) DURING WONT SAY IM IN LOVE LIKE THATS PROBABLY MY FAVORITE DISNEY SONG OF ALL TIME OH MY GOODNESS. I WOULDNT STOP TEXTING MY FRIEND AND TALKING ABOUT IDIAVIL. also i did see ur response and oh my goodness i think abt it so much. ill probably share the keychains and playlists off anon later... also i LOVE the fact u keep ur pins of them next to each other... my birthday was actually a while ago (oct 28th) but the art has been delayed bc shes been busy which idm, shes putting a ton of effort into it. ill also probably share that off anon whenever its done!! alr im gonna wrap this up, i do have a few things i have to get done soon but i'll try to send in those playlists and pictures of the keychains b4 i go to bed tn!!

hi again haha!! whenever you watch the wicked movie i really hope you enjoy it! just keep in mind that they kind of, extended every single scene in act 1 to make it 2.5 hours long (when the whole stage musical with both acts combined is that length), so it's only a part 1 and we won't get part 2 until next year. which admittedly DOES bug me but i still loved the movie anyway. if you want to watch the stage musical after that, well, the people who record bootlegs usually ask you not to put them on youtube but people do anyway AKJDGJFSG. so you can probably find one easily enough! it's my absolute favorite musical! when i went to see it live in april, i kept thinking "well, vil does share glinda's love of fashion and her popularity and ambition, but he's different from her in a lot of ways too! for example, he doesn't believe that popularity is the only thing that really matters, and he would never sacrifice his own morals and ideals to achieve his goals... oh... wait..." and then i realized that the whole plot of book 5 is that vil kind of DID do all that! that's the whole tragedy of it, that he overblotted because he DID start to think that his hard work was meaningless and that he SHOULD resort to any means possible to be the most popular at the expense of his moral compass, and he thought of himself as ugly for doing so! he COULD have ended up basically alone, being praised by others around him as beautiful and good while inside he secretly believes himself to be wicked, just like glinda if his friends hadn't done everything to stop him from poisoning neige.

and idia may not be an animal rights activist like elphaba, nor is she an otaku LOL, but elphaba grew up lonely and ostracized because of her green skin and idia's family curse forced him to grow up isolated on the isle of woe and have blue fire for hair. she's a caretaker for her disabled sister whose father blames her for her condition, and idia has a robot brother whose death he blames himself for. elphaba is jaded and sarcastic and abrasive and deeply insecure, and who else fits that description? the only issue is that idia is far too pessimistic about the future to decide to do what elphaba does in defying gravity on his own, but i think in an AU he could be pushed to do it. also there's this part in wicked where after glinda and elphaba get back from a big dance at the ozdust ballroom glinda says "was that your first party?!" and elphaba deadpans "does a funeral count?" and i can just so clearly see that with idia and vil AFKJDGHF. there's so many other scenes too that i just see as being perfect for them.

as for fiyero i had two ideas here: in the actual musical, there's a love triangle in which elphaba and fiyero ultimately end up together but as i mentioned i would want to give my AU a happy ending and make vil and idia end up together in it. so i would do one of two things: 1) cast kalim as fiyero, because he literally just fits the role perfectly. fiyero is a foreign prince, and look at the lyrics to dancing through life and try to tell me kalim wouldn't sing this. but i don't ship kalim with either vil or idia, so in this scenario i'd probably cut the love triangle and have him somehow end up as their bestie who supports whatever insane gay thing those two have got going on. imo kalim really does fit fiyero better than anyone else and this idea is just so funny to me. or 2) cast rook as fiyero, keep the love triangle, and have it end in polyamory because even though i've never even considered shipping rook with idia i do ship rook/vil and i think this would be hilarious as an AU. also, there's a scene in wicked where glinda and elphaba are hanging out and glinda is like "let's tell each other our best secrets! i'll go first! FIYERO AND I ARE GOING TO BE MARRIED!!!" and since they've just started dating elphaba is like "he's asked you already??" and then glinda goes "oh no, he doesn't know yet!" and imagining vil saying that about rook just makes me laugh so hard.

OKAY. so there is an incomplete summary of my thoughts on a vilidia wicked AU!! honestly i don't really watch horror movies so i haven't seen jennifer's body but if i ever do watch it i'll have to keep that AU idea in mind. as for the hercules parallel idk if you've seen this post of mine but it makes me so happy every time someone likes or reblogs it because then i get to think about them again. hercules/meg has always been one of my favorite disney couples so when i saw this happen in book 6 i was immediately just. doomed to be insane about vil/idia forever because are you KIDDING ME?? also your birthday is right after mine omg, mine was october 25th!! so a late happy birthday to you, then! one last thing i'd like to say in this already way too long response is that i have two sets of floyd and riddle nuis--listen, they're my other favorite ship so i bought the first ones online and then saw more at a con i went to and couldn't resist--and i'm going to be getting idia and ortho nuis for christmas. hopefully soon i'll be able to get a vil nui as well so i can keep him right next to his boyfriend and his film club buddy/future brother-in-law 💙💜

[icharchivist]

I think you said Siete and Lucanis would get on fine but would Solas like him?

Actually, also, do you think you could leave Lucanis and Solas in a room together or would they be at each other's throats?

Solas and Lucanis?

They do interreact in late game so i have a few ideas about that.

Contains Veilguard spoilers, and unfortunately some negativity about it too:

Mainly esp with a romanced Lucanis, Lucanis wants to kill Solas for what he did to Rook. So huh. Well. That's already not exactly a stellar start. Though he does say that if Rook wants to spare Solas, he will follow Rook's desire -- but if Solas even endanger Rook even once, Lucanis will not hesitate to kill him.

Meanwhile Solas feels a lot of pity for Lucanis. Both Lucanis AND Spite were forced into cohabitating and Solas comments that it's a horrible thing to inflict over two souls. He even offers that, at the end of all things, he could separate them if they wanted. Both Lucanis and Spite refuse on the spot because not only they came to an agreement, but they don't trust him. Not after what he did to Rook. And Spite comments that all he smells over Solas are tears and lies.

(Solas was responsible for the thing that got Rook locked away for a few weeks, and if Solas' plan went according to him, Rook wouldn't have been let out. Lucanis mentions that he cannot bear the thought of losing Rook and those past few weeks are hinted to have been agonizing for him. So even outside of just "you hurt Rook" i think the fact he felt like hell for a few weeks also makes him want to kill Solas. He does fall back on revenge a lot, especially while fuelled by a Spite demon.)

Before that, i'd have to rewatch the Solas regrets scenes to refresh myself on Lucanis' feelings about it but i think i recall Lucanis being a bit more on the understanding side? or maybe i'm projecting.

But i think Lucanis would understand where Solas is coming from but he can't accept the cost or the means to get there. He always saw what a threat Solas could be, and after he hurt Rook this was done and over for him. I think Lucanis will remain hostile because he's good at holding a grudge.

One thing the game never really mentions but is from the books is that Lucanis genuinely goes out of his way to get revenges for slaves and free them. I always thought it would be relavent to connecting with Solas or not because like. The extreme Lucanis goes through to punish slavers and anyone who enable them should be something Solas would connect to. In the same book we see Solas ruthlessly punish slavers as well. As per the books, i think the two of them would actually relate and understand each other a lot. and i think Solas would like the extends in which Lucanis is ready to go to free slaves outside of his orders.

In a way both Solas and Lucanis were forged to become weapons by a matriarch figure in their lives. Solas just eventually rebelled, while Lucanis still is loyal to her, even though he breaks away from it to disobey and free slaves. And i think it's like. In the Books, we have kind of this built up of how Lucanis is more like when Solas was still young, still in the service of Mythal, yet still unable to look away from the misery of people.

And they're both pretty mellow people. They're understanding and listens to others a lot. They have their share of hyperfixation. I didn't pick the option but i think Lucanis also doesn't like tea so it makes them bond on that.

But at their core they are freedom fighter who had been molded into giving death only. Solas broke free from it. Lucanis didn't but he disobey when he can.

The game....... doesn't really touch on that. In fact it barely even touch on Lucanis' complicated feelings toward Caterina despite being a perfect foil to Solas being molded by Mythal to be who he is. .... the game also pretty much just makes Caterina a loving Grandmother, which is understandable bc she has been missing Lucanis when he was gone for one year, but therefore makes nothing to address the very complicated dynamic in the Dellamorte family as it is hinted in the book.

If their storylines focused more on that, i feel like they would see more of each other into the other, or at least Solas would see himself in Lucanis, because i don't know if Lucanis is self aware enough to really understand the depth of the abuse he went through with Caterina.

And the problem with Veilguard imo is that, while i love the storyline and i love Spite, focusing all of Lucanis' struggles on Spite leaves no room to actually address the deep root of his trauma (i mean there's Illario but. I think overthinkers can manage to tie the plot back together but the game itself will do very little effort to dive deeper into how it plays on both their CPTSD.). Lucanis has both CPTSD and PTSD. CPTSD because of the Crows, and PTSD because of the experiments made on him the past year. The game only really dive into the PTSD and the way it intersect with the CPTSD when you free him from PTSD prison -- but it does very little to address the CPTSD. Which i get because this would be long and hard (but the ending of this quest makes it very bitter to me), but is definitely something i have to take into account here.

But as the game goes... I don't know i think i still need to get my thoughts more sorted about it, i had years to really dive into Lucanis' story in the book and only a month to think about his story in the game, i'm clearly not on the same level of depth here, and the bait and switch with Spite means i didn't pay enough attention early on -- which is why i'm replaying it too!

And there's also the whole.... The thing is that i think if you take the book AND game together, an idea of them together, you could get something extremely compelling about the Benevolent but Abusive Matriarch That Formed You Into A Weapon, and the Betrayal Of Those You Considered Brothers. Like i feel like if they bothered to show more about the Felassan betrayal in game aside from the revenant, there could be some introspection and elements of Lucanis putting himself in Felassan's place after Illario's betrayal. There is a concept, right here, ready to be explored, that is... just not enough invested in, and wouldn't even be something you'd bother to pick up if you hadn't read the books and read Lucanis' complicated feelings about Caterina and the depth of his bond with Illario, when the game made the two of that... very one dimensional without the context.

But Spite makes things a bit difficult. Still Solas would see that it's two souls being bound, and he detests this idea. He detests the inherent slavery, he detests the way it is altering the both of them. But he admires that they managed to make it work and he admires that Lucanis gave this opportunity to Spite as well, as humans and non mage are rarely this opened to Spirit possession and understanding.

But yeah ultimately i think the difference, especially in game, is that Lucanis is more driven by his personal feelings than the bigger picture like Solas is. So Lucanis will hold grudge over how Rook was hurt regardless of the bigger picture. And while Solas CAN get petty and arrogant with someone who is hostile to him, he's less so when he agrees he's in the wrong, and he does agree it was horrible of him to do that to Rook, so he's been withstanding Lucanis' anger. That said Solas would get rid of Lucanis if Lucanis stood in the way of his goal.

So like.

I think pre-Rook betrayal they could stand in a room together and be cordial with each other. they'd be wary of each other and have difficulties being nice, but they are professionals. They won't start fights for no reason.

(unless Solas would address the inherent slavery of the Crow system but Veilguard kinda retconned everything about it so what is there left to comment on. where is slavery even in Veilguard.)

but Post-Rook betrayal Lucanis would have a dagger out the whole time. He'd be glaring daggers. And Solas can't even be mad because he knows he has every reasons to be treated this way. If Rook tells Lucanis no, Lucanis will behave, but he will make clear he won't forgive Solas and that he's ready to kill him if he does anything wrong. If Rook does nothing, Lucanis will just keep to whatever he would have promised about it before. But if Rook is mean to Solas you can be sure Lucanis will go "AND ANOTHER THING" supporting his lover while making sure Solas feels like shit and knows the dagger is ready to go to his throat anytime.

so huh.

that's my take away. I think.

[geddy-leesbian]

Mildly high in the bathtub and feeling rambly.. I know from my blog/ao3 it seems like I'm one of the people that's deeply invested in RE men and ignores the girls, but I do love Claire so fucking much, probably not as much as I love Luis but more than I love Leon to be completely honest. It's just that I don't like her in the situations I like to write about. Hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, that's been my jam as long as I've been in fandom spaces. And I just don't enjoy the thought of Claire in situations like that. I love inserting Luis into as many fucked up scenarios as possible. I play other RE games he's not in and think "what if Luis was here and got traumatized more haha" but I don't do that in games without Claire because I prefer to think she's fine and thriving and not getting into fucked up scenarios. I play Darkside chronicles and Revelations 2 and love Claire so much but when i get to the end of the game the book closes for me, like "damn poor Claire went through a lot of shit, she deserves a good break" I'm not brainstorming ways to further torment her like I do with Leon and luis, i want her happy. But I also don't like writing happy fluff, again I've been mega into angst as long as I've been writing, and I've never enjoyed domestic fluff really. I only do fluff as the payoff for a bunch of angst. I have vague fluffy thoughts for hwo Claire's nice life could be unfolding, but they aren't thoughts i feel i need to flesh out and write down. And if i tried to write them, I'd be bored to death by the lack of angst and drama

And I know I've written Serrennedy fluff where they're okay and thriving so I should be able to do the same with Claire but it's very specific fluff with those two. It's them being parents because of all my daddy issues and trauma, I don't write fluff of them unless kids are involved. And I also don't see Claire as a parent. Like maybe to Sherry but that's special. (And i mean I usually imagine Leon as the one being Sherry's parent anyway) I've been struggling with the next chapter of wakin' up blind with the house on fire for a very long time and finally realized recently it's because something about it didn't feel quite right, a conversation where Claire tells Leon she's been thinking about having a kid too. Like it's sweet and appeals to my "almost every relative I have is either dead or shitty" trauma because it's claire saying she still sees leon as a brother and their kids will be like cousins, but it just doesnt feel right, I think she's makes more sense as the cool childfree aunt

Idk how to conclude this. Just. I enjoy women escaping traumatizing situations forever and being happy and like to actively put traumatized men through more trauma ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (i focused on claire bc she's my number 1 blorbo but i am fond of most of the other girls too and just don't do things focusing heavily on them for similar reasons. Especially rebecca after umbrella chronicles i was like actually i hope to god she isnt in another mainline game any time soon bc i do not want to see her suffer more girl's been through enoigh 😭 and while claire has also been thru enough and deserves a rest i want to see her in a mainline game again because I think it's really hot when she lifts heavy things and shoves heavy things and beats people up sorry)